Chicago News Station Thinks Winter Olympics At P.F. Chang’s

February 13, 2018 | WTF | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

As a Chicagoan I disagree with media coverage that portrays us as Mad Max, but I absolutely agree with any coverage that portrays us as people who think about food 24/7. This Saturday our local ABC station accidentally identified the most popular chain restaurant for poor people celebrating, P.F. Chang’s, as the location for the […]


The Time’s Up Avatar Resembles Sagging Breasts

January 9, 2018 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hashtags were invented so that any modicum of independent intelligence could be removed from social media posting. You don’t even have to repeat what the idiot before you said in 140 characters. Merely pound sign and the kitschy cause name somebody proudly invented from their Customer Service cubicle. Women are especially poor at coming up […]


Emergency Plane Landing After Man Poops Everywhere

January 5, 2018 | WTF | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Just when headlines were getting a little too slaphappy covering the upcoming Survivors Convention known as The Golden Globes, a man has swooped in to save us all by smearing mounds of his own shit all over two bathroom lavatories on a plane heading from Chicago to Hong Kong – causing an emergency landing in Anchorage. […]


WHO Lists ‘Gaming Disorder’ as New Mental Health Syndrome

December 27, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In case you’re not closely following the World Health Organization twitter feed, the worldwide body for science that was mildly relevant but five years ago, has announced it will be listing “Gaming Disorder” or video game addiction as a new official mental health condition.


The NFL In More Trouble

December 18, 2017 | WTF | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The worse part about working for large corporations is being held accountable even after you clock out for the day. Escorts aren’t illegal and neither is porn but for some reason the public likes to shame men who like to have a good time.


Netflix Not Exactly The Best In Human Resource Department

December 18, 2017 | WTF | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I love an excuse to have sex with random women as much as the next man. Netflix has been the perfect wingman and excuse for practicing procreation with protection for a while now but they’re not without flaws. 


South African Lady Semen Thieves Will Never Merit a Hashtag Protest

December 14, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A 25-year old male hitchhiker in Northern South Africa was picked up in a car by a couple wild gals, forced to consume the drank, and gang raped at gunpoint, with his sperm likely headed to some kind of tribal Costco for big profit resale.


School Shootings Experiencing Gender Equality

December 6, 2017 | WTF | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

In High school a girl’s main focus is mostly boys, not guns and revenge. My guess is this was an attempt to get out of a test that she didn’t study for taken too far.


Forever 21 Sued For Sneaky Peaky Porn

December 1, 2017 | WTF | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The main focus of every corporation in existence is to make as much money as possible. That means cutting corners and squeezing every penny possible to turn a profit. Even if that means doing something strange for change on the side.


Massage Envy Spas Prove That Women Don’t Like Happy Endings

November 28, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In what may come as a surprise to people who don’t think things through logically, the nation’s largest strip mall franchise massage parlors stand accused of having rogue masseurs touch their female clients sexually.