Free Lobotomies With Gigi Hadid's Hot Party Tips

Well my apologies to Bella Hadid, because while I've been making fun of her for being a botched whore Japanese sex robot, which obviously she is, her sister Gigi Hadid has apparently been providing the most brain dead interviews in the history of the universe, and might... read more

Bella Hadid Robo Boobs In New York City

Beep boop bop boop beep. Japanese sex robot to the stars Bella Hadid let her tits spill out all over Brooklyn yesterday while recharging her batteries on the set of some porn photo shoot. People legitimately seem to care about these pap smear pics from the... read more

Yes, We See Your Armpit Hair Gigi Hadid (VIDEO)

Lesser of two evils Gigi Hadid landed a video for the LOVE Advent Calendar, and is making herself stand out from the hordes of other powerful women with important things to say by flashing her armpit hair during a sweaty, empowering, and important workout. She's strong... read more

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Open Post: August Ames Dead Pornstar Homophobe Or Dead Pornstar Feminist?

August Ames is a pornstar who was alive up until yesterday - when she reportedly hung herself after getting into a Twitter brawl over her comments construed as either homophobic or #MeToo-worthy empowering depending on which side you dress on. The impetus for... read more

What Vogue Editor Wrote About Taylor Swift Inc. Will Give You Diarrhea

I like to believe that Taylor Swift Inc. has reached the Born This Way era of her career - meaning that audiences are getting tired of her schtick, sniffing out the realization that she would refinance their mortgages at low low rates if she thought she could make a buck,... read more

Chrissy Teigen Pan Am Ho Convention Birthday

Chrissy Teigen managed to keep her nipples and cellulite at bay, as far as we know, during her Pan Am-themed thirty-second birthday party that people are talking about for some reason. Pan Am harkening back to a time when a male pilot could full-blown rape a stewardess... read more

Selena Gomez: Woody Allen Sexual Misconduct Who?

When all the jizz finally settles and we look back at the Weinstein era of sexual assault allegations in Hollywood, the overarching lesson will be the same one that it's always been - money makes the world go round. Or maybe, a clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad... read more

Well Look What The Tide Dragged In

Yesterday Lady Gaga starred in her own Insta photo shoot looking like one of those washed up tangled masses of seaweed, garbage, and small animal carcasses. Or just like a whale caught up in fishing net. Or a D-list Times Square Princess Leia impersonator on a bender. Or... read more

Remember Mrs. Claus? Try Not To Gasp When You See What She Looks Like Now

Earlier this week the homemaker of the North Pole herself, Mrs. Claus, showed up to a tragic D-list event looking a mummified off-brand Barbie with body parts so wildly misplaced that Picasso couldn't decipher what's going on. That sentence was to keep the magic alive for... read more

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Emilia Clarke Doesn't Want You To Think Game Of Thrones Is Hot

The Renaissance fair sex party known as Game of Thrones has become the go-to series for interfamily dark castle banging, but one of the show's biggest stars, Emilia Clarke, isn't here for your living room erection. Daenerys Targaryen Mother of Boobs herself opens up to ... read more

Gigi Hadid's Racism Bites Back At Victoria's Secret

The lesser of two evils, Gigi Hadid, has announced that she will not be heading to China for the 2017 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and many are speculating that her absence is more of a national policy than a whim decision due to a racist video featuring Hadid that... read more

Jessica Chastain Grounded As Ever For Town And Country

Those of you immune to the allure of the dour, out-of-touch, and man-like Jessica Chastain are going to be all over her new spread for Town & Country. The magazine originally dedicated to documenting the going-ons of inbred rich Southern debutants who procured their... read more