Bella Thorne "Ain't No Two Pump Chump" On Giant Penis (VIDEO)

Ragged Anne Doll Bella Thorne always manages to one-up her crazy shenanigans - creating Internet buzz and generating comments like "ew" and "I thought she was dead" - and this turn on a giant mechanical penis is no different. The twenty-year-old hypothetical actress took... read more

Chrissy Teigen Pan Am Ho Convention Birthday

Chrissy Teigen managed to keep her nipples and cellulite at bay, as far as we know, during her Pan Am-themed thirty-second birthday party that people are talking about for some reason. Pan Am harkening back to a time when a male pilot could full-blown rape a stewardess... read more

Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table - Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that... read more

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Selena Gomez: Woody Allen Sexual Misconduct Who?

When all the jizz finally settles and we look back at the Weinstein era of sexual assault allegations in Hollywood, the overarching lesson will be the same one that it's always been - money makes the world go round. Or maybe, a clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad... read more

Matt Lauer Sorry, But Also Not Sorry (VIDEO)

NBC's formerly popular morning show Today is the end all be all place for boxed wine-fueled housewives to get their hot tips on how to use garlic... in desserts? Stay tuned for this and more brain dead dribble. And anyone tragic enough to follow the program over the past... read more

Well Look What The Tide Dragged In

Yesterday Lady Gaga starred in her own Insta photo shoot looking like one of those washed up tangled masses of seaweed, garbage, and small animal carcasses. Or just like a whale caught up in fishing net. Or a D-list Times Square Princess Leia impersonator on a bender. Or... read more

Katie Couric Once Said Matt Lauer Pinched Her Ass "A Lot"

Matt Lauer is the latest Hollywood insider to be taken down for previous handsy action, just yesterday getting the boot from Today for what NBC News stated was “inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace.” Only one official complaint has been filed, but NBC News also... read more

Remember Mrs. Claus? Try Not To Gasp When You See What She Looks Like Now

Earlier this week the homemaker of the North Pole herself, Mrs. Claus, showed up to a tragic D-list event looking a mummified off-brand Barbie with body parts so wildly misplaced that Picasso couldn't decipher what's going on. That sentence was to keep the magic alive for... read more

Angela Lansbury On Rape: "We Must Sometimes Take Blame, Women"

First off, I can not, for the life of me, believe that Angela Lansbury is alive. Instead of simply congratulating Jessica Fletcher herself for not being dead, the Internet is jumping down her throat for comments she made basically saying that all women are whores. She... read more

Kris Jenner Compares Daughters To Leaky Faucet

During the Jenndashian brothel family holiday celebration, Kris Jenner insulted faucets everywhere when she compared them to her drippy slut daughters. E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians: A Very Kardashian Holiday transported us to a dinner table decked out for either a... read more

University Of Tennessee Not Hiring Jerry Sandusky's Boy Wrangler Greg Schiano

As with the Harvey Weinstein scandal, it's difficult to believe perpetrators' inner circles are unaware of abuse. Especially since instead of assaulting his victims in private hotel rooms like a baller, Sandusky was soaping up boys in locker rooms accessible to a number... read more

Open Post: Who Would You Rather The World Turn Against: Lena Dunham Or Amy Schumer?

If you've read the news recently, you'll know that Lean Dunham's reputation as the liberal crusader for women, fat women, ugly women, black women, black men, the LGBT community, anyone under thirty-five, cats, birds, house plants, and amoebas is in jeopardy after she... read more