Spotify Burning Hate-Filled Music

Hysteria is a weird thing. Most men only feel it in relation to their long suffering sports team finally winning a championship. The result is getting wasted, clutching men you barely know, and occasionally crying. read more

I Survived The Handmaid's Tale

The Handmaid's Tale. It's like sitting through a Lamaze class where the klatch of women all blame you for their pregnancy discomfort.  read more

Must Find Somebody to Blame in Chris Berman's Wife's Fatal Crash

There are certain downsides to being a celebrity. Lack of privacy. Everything else is pretty amazing. Like the desperate attempt of law enforcement to cover for you and your family members' missteps. Especially if you're a beloved public figure. read more

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Cindy Crawford Turns Out Her Kids and Taylor Swift Heroic Survivor on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #97

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I and special guest Jessica Winther explore various depths of human depravity including ESPN's self-immolating slave auction, Cindy Crawford auctioning her white kids, reports that porn is killing erections in young men,... read more

Idol Scraping the Bottom for Judges

With only a few weeks left to go until discovering singers with an exploitable tragic backstory, American Idol is still without a full roster of hackneyed grossly made up talking mannequin judges. read more

Alexa Rae Is a Social Media Influencer, Also, Completely Made Up

In what should come as no surprise to any sentient being, a good number of social media "influencers" are wholly invented fictions. That's not to deny that the Kardashians can move a shit ton of makeup.  read more

Bonnie Tyler Books an Eclipse Gig

There have only ever been two reasons to embark on a cruise ship. Gambling in international waters and endless drink tickets. Three if you happen to love gay sex and dwell in a red state.  read more

ESPN's Slave Auction Goes Over Well (VIDEO)

Every purely moral crusade must eventually begin consuming its own tale. ESPN is now under fire for a fantasy football player auction skit that too closely resembled a slave auction of the antebellum South. read more

Christina El Moussa Wants Her Money

It's not easy being a divorced bleach blonde 34-year old in Orange County. Not like the ten thousand others of your ilk remarrying business men looking for trophy wives and a blow job on the major holidays and every third Tuesday.  read more

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Drink Wine With Jennifer Lawrence and Her Breasts and Save The Nation (VIDEO)

Hollywood celebrities have come to discover large amounts of corruption in national politics, on or about November 9th of last year. Prior to that, Goldman Sachs and Chevron were doing the right thing with their PAC and speech money. Also, Russia had a sweet national... read more

Alabama Also Says DTF Teachers Good to Go With Their Teen Students

An Alabama judge declared it unconstitutional to punish teachers for banging their sixteen and over students since that is the age of majority in the Southern state. read more

Tiger Woods Toxicology Report Is a National Emergency

Toxicology reports were force-released by an ESPN public records request, revealing Woods blood contained zero alcohol. Though a nice cocktail of Vicodin, Dilaudid (Morphine derivative), Xanax, Ambien, and weed. read more