Bella Hadid sounds like a Japanese sex robot struggling with a 90’s slang vocabulary upgrade in a new video released by Complex Magazine. And, she probably is. While shopping for sneakers in front of the cameras, Hadid uses the word “dope” with the frequency and conviction of an online predator testing the waters of his new cool kid in school fake identity. She also does the Hadid name proud by bringing the word “homeboy” back into play while discussing what shoes her suitors would need to wear in order to have sex with her. A lady. When asked about her shoe turnoffs (1:30 minute mark above,) Hadid gets down yo with:
You know what. I’m cool with it, and I don’t mind dirty sneakers. But you better, they better be fresh, you know. If homeboy’s coming through with these, it’s quite… But if he comes through in like these, you got some Air Maxes out here, you got some Jordans, homeboy’s gonna like… get it.
The Internet is really having fun with that last line, especially since Hadid delivers it like she’s been sexually molested by a shoe and this entire video is more traumatizing for her than we’ll ever know. Hadid also gets jiggy with it by emphasizing the dopeness of men and women wearing matching sneakers:
If you’re going to have a dope shoe that both guys and girls can wear. I mean, come on. Matching shoes. That’s dope.
Hadid works hard to look like a Botoxed fifty-year-old divorcee in heat in her modeling photos, so it’s interesting that the actual twenty-one-year-old comes across as a somewhat sheepish teen here. Who’s sexually active. In the 90’s. This whole thing is a trainwreck and it’s the first time I’ve liked Hadid in any capacity at all.
Photo Credit: Complex YouTube